Mr. Wooley's Diary

Look...Mr. Wooley's a tech geek.....he did my homework for me....

2009-07-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

1. a
2. a
3. B2B
4. disintermediation
5. false
6. false
7 c
8. technology-enabled relationship management
9. market segmentation
10. electronic bill presentment
11. d
12. digital rights management
13. false
14. true
15. true
16. dynamic web pages

Oops.....

2009-07-20T09:47:00.000-07:00

Decapitated mouse anyone?

My new friend

2009-05-21T12:07:00.001-07:00

I made a new friend today. He came to visit, although I could not get through the window to greet him, and I could not open the door. The people were no help either.So we resorted to chatting through the window. Turns out he's head of the neighborhood block watch, and he calls himself Vern. Apparently this area used to be on the rather seedy side. His experience is evident in his many war wounds. He is a little intimidating with the scar that causes his lip to curl up over his fang on one side of his mouth. I wouldn't want to cross him in a dark alley. I assured him that I am a great guard cat, even without my front claws. I have learned to compensate with my teeth

I'm glad we are on good terms! I hope he comes back to visit soon.

M. Wooley

Ah, the early years

2009-02-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

I know my absence has been lengthy my faithful readers, but I have been adjusting to my new surroundings and I have needed this long vacation to reflect on my life. Thus, here is a picture I came across of me and one of my siblings at an early age.

I vow to post a more in-depth volume soon!

Until then,

M. Wooley

What the.......?

2008-12-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

Today did begin strangely, but I didn't think too much of it. I sniffed around the hairy person who stayed here last night, had breakfast, and did my business. Then out of the blue, I was shoved in that small green box with Fluffy, and locked in a little room. The rest is a blur, but I remember riding in that noisy machine, then being shoved in another little room for the rest of the day. Everything smelled strange and disconcerting. I have never had a panic attack before, but I can imagine what it's like!

All I know for sure is that I was very thirsty, and I really needed to use the litter box! Finally, they let me out. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was terrified. I have been inspecting my new surroundings, and so far they seem quite adequate. Although I will need to register a complaint about the hard floors on my fragile paws. Some new slippers would do fine.

All this stress is too much for me. I took a sleeping pill with a nice smooth Pilsner, and I should be drifting off to dreamland any moment. Who knows what I will find tomorrow?

M. Wooley

What happens at ZuZu's...........

2008-11-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

........stays at ZuZu's............ at least, that's what I told her anyway. These pics are just to good not to post. What a wild party! What's that saying? While the people are away......... ??? Oh well.

......... and it just goes downhill from there, trust me. What a night!!!! I just hope we can get everything cleaned up before her people get home.

I have a headache.

M. Wooley

The day my life changed forever.

2008-10-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear followers. It is with great solemness that I return to my blog today. It has taken me a week to prepare myself mentally for this.

I will take this one sentence at a time.

Starting back at the beginning of this nightmare of a week................

Last Tuesday began pretty much like any other day. I had forgiven the people for being gone so long, and things were quite peaceful around the house. I was enjoying having them stay home all day long, especially so that my food bowl was always full. But on this morning, I should have realized something was askew. First off, I had not been fed since the evening prior, after which they took my food AND water away. I protested loudly all morning, but they would not give me any food!!!! And then they brought out this familiar looking green box with a little door on the front. I discovered that my beloved Fluffy was inside. I went in to snuggle with her, and the people shut the door. I still was not too concerned. We got too go outside and go for a ride in a huge noisy machine. I actually got quite comfortable and began to doze!

The next thing I knew, I looked around and I was in a huge white room. I could hear dogs barking and other felines crying. What was this horrible place? And the smells...indescribable. Then suddenly, I was being taken away by a strange person, and my female person was leaving! Again, I protested loudly. That was my last memory until later the same day.

Now, it is all quite a blur, but I remember fragments. I woke up to Fluffy's blank stare. Apparently she was just as confused as I was. I remember my female person coming to take me away, going again in the noisy machine. All the sounds seemed so much louder! I unnervingly felt no pain, I was just very thirsty. We returned to the warm home, and I was relieved to be in familiar surroundings. My female person finally opened the little door and I tried to walk out of the little green box. Suddenly, I was on my side on the floor! The room was spinning. Dear heavens, what in the world was wrong? And what are these annoying and strange blue bandages on my front paws? I struggled to the bathroom, and then was picked up and placed in a warm, quiet spot on the couch where I again fell asleep.

I awoke sometime later, still very wobbly and thirsty. What were these stupid bandages for? And worst of all, I couldn't quite pinpoint it, but something was missing. It wasn't until hours later that I realized what it was. I will spare my readers the ugly details. Let's just say my life has changed forever. As the days have passed and I have sought treatment with my therapist, I am learning to cope with my new found disability. I am reaching out to my fellow felines to let all of you know that there is life after this surgery. You must find a good support group, and realize that you are still a feline. I wouldn't be able to cope without my people and Fluffy.

I am feeling much better today. I am not sure, however, why my front claws do not seem to be working. I don't know if that is a side effect of the medicine, but until they come back I must remember to be careful what I jump on to.

That is all for now. Thank you to all my readers for your continued support. I will make it through this difficult time. I am thinking about starting a feline support group. More on that later..........

M. Wooley

The people came home!

2008-10-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

They're back!!! My humans have returned. I was beginning to give up. I gave them the cold shoulder, but decided I much preferred a warm lap to holding a grudge. Besides, I think I punished them enough with all the things I managed to get into while they were gone. Hopefully they will not pull a stunt like this again.

A very relieved,

M. Wooley

What about my 401K?

2008-10-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

I am trying not to panic. They are not coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What am I going to do? I have not yet mastered the can opener. I will surely starve, unless I can rip through these screens and attack these annoying birds outside.............I must practice. Please excuse me if I do not blog for a few days as I must refine my survival skills. Who knows, with no caretakers and in this economy, I might actually have to learn to fend for myself!!!!!!!

A distraught,

M. Wooley

Just me and my Fluffy.

2008-10-08T00:44:00.000-07:00

I has been strangely quiet around here. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the humans are not coming back. At least not my humans anyway. A pair of them showed up the other day and made themselves quite at home. I didn't mind so much though. They did make sure my food dish was full before they left. I have nothing left to do but eat, sleep, and keep myself groomed. No sense in letting myself go. On a brighter note, Fluffy did return for a visit, although, I have since discovered that she is not as interesting as I had remembered. Rather a quiet one.

I never thought solitude would be so......lonely. Sigh.

M. Wooley

All is quiet on the homefront.

2008-10-05T00:17:00.000-07:00

Well, the people have been gone for quite some time now, and I'm honestly beginning to get worried. But I'm sure they will be able to find their way home. Especially when they start to get hungry. In the mean time, I am keeping myself amused. There is so much more to explore and play with when they are not here to get in my way!

It's late and I'm off to bed. What nice comfortable pillows they have!

M. Wooley

Dental hygene is no laughing matter

2008-10-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, my loyal readers, I have been lazy. Isn't that what felines are supposed to do? I do apologize for my extended absence. I was, more accurately, on strike against the humans after an incident a few weeks ago involving a plant and a toothbrush. I won't go in to details, except to say that I have forgiven them.

We did also have a strange rather tall and hairy human stay with us a few weeks ago. He didn't like me trying to use his laptop though. He did smell quite interesting.....I wonder where he came from? He made extremely loud noises though, so I'm glad he decided to leave. Have I seen him in a blog somewhere? Hmmm..............

Some strange things have been happening the last few days. I don't quite know what to make of it. The humans seem to be moving a lot of things around and putting things in giant boxes. I am mystified by this strange behavior. They have also been a little on the grouchy side. I can't help it if I'm curious - it's genetic! They should know better than to tantalize me with strange and interesting new things. Eventually I will find out what is in those big boxes.

All for now - I will do my best to not let my laziness take over so that my blog does not suffer.

M. Wooley

The return of Fluffy.

2008-09-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have not mentioned Fluffy before, as it was a rather painful subject for me. She was my girlfriend. She is a cute little calico. We used to play together, take naps in the sun together, gaze out the window together! She was my constant companion. Until one day when I awoke and she was gone. No note, no sign of her anywhere. I was devastated.

I had given up on her returning until just yesterday. I was following one of my people, as I know they need constant companionship at every moment, even in the bathroom. While they were distracted, I thought I caught a glimpse of Fluffy high atop a shelf. Was this her new home? Was she trying to hide from me? Or did she simply find herself stuck and in need of rescue? I had to find out. My frequent attempts to reach her were repeatedly thwarted by my people. For some reason they yell and chase me when I climb up on wooden furniture. I decided to wait and try again when they were not around.

Last night I made my move. They house was dark and quiet. I carefully balanced myself on the desk, then the shelf, then the next shelf. There she was! Quietly curled up just waiting for me to rescue her! Oh the joy of being reunited. We played and tumbled and took a nap together. I was so happy to show my humans when they returned later in the evening. For some reason they did not seem to share my joy. What do they know? I was just so happy to have my Fluffy back.

And then I awoke this morning. She was gone again. I suppose this was inevitable. She is a rather free spirit and I don't suppose she enjoyed being tied down as a housecat. I found myself checking all of her favorite hiding places to no avail. Sigh. I guess I am back to being single. But I will always have the fond memory of the return of Fluffy.

Is this election over yet?

2008-09-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

I get the conservative commentary, I guess I understand the liberal point of view, I'm just tired of hearing it all!

Can't we just relax to a little Billie Holiday or Glenn Miller?

Oh, to a more simple time.

In the Mood

Here's to good food and great naps.

2008-08-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

You know, I can't even seem to take a bath in private anymore. This camera thing is getting out of hand. I don't know why these people feel the need to document every second of their lives. I guess they have nothing better to do. How sad and utterly pathetic.

I had the strangest dream last night. I was on a fantastic warm Hawaiian beach with wonderful food and luxurious drinks. The smell of the tropical flora was beyond description! I was just about to chat up a cute feline of the female persuasion basking in the sun, when I was rudely awakened by the male human deciding he wanted to sit in my chair.

That's ok though. He will pay later when he least expects it. I know where he keeps his toothbrush.

Aloha,

M. Wooley

Family Affair

2008-08-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

I have a little time today in between naps, so I thought I would make a short entry. As I mentioned in my previous post, I came across a couple of old photos. This is apparently me at a very young age, too young I suppose to remember much other than a huge pink food dish. Humans have no taste at all.

I also have probably never mentioned the fact that I have a half-sister. I myself just discovered this a short while ago, over the 4th of July holiday. Strictly by chance during the weekend away with my people, I discovered her living in a beach house along with two well trained humans. The family resemblance is uncanny. See for yourself. (Zuzu in early 2008)

Unfortunately she was not open to the idea of reconnecting as long lost siblings. So rude was she, in fact, that she ignored me the entire visit. I tried my best to follow her around and strike up a conversation, but all she gave me was a strange hissing noise. I finally gave up when she hid under the giant bed and would not come out. I do not have time for such shenanigans. I am not sure I would even want to have a relationship with her in light of such ill manners and breeding.
I do not blame her, I suppose, after hearing talk of her life experiences. Allegedly she was adopted, and then her adoptive humans tried to give her back unsuccessfully. A whole sordid messy affair apparently. Thank goodness I am in a stable home. Ah, well, I suppose I may try again to make contact with her again at a later date. Hopefully I will have a warmer reception.

All for now,

M. Wooley

My week in review.

2008-08-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

My apologies to my loyal readers for my extended absence. This was partly due to my own laziness, but primarily because my people decided to take my laptop when they disappeared for several days. Not only did they leave me to fend for myself, but they sent two crazy strangers in their place to apparently "check" on me. I will not let them leave ever again.

Admittedly, though, I was able to catch up on some important projects that I have been neglecting. The bathroom curtains needed some more shredding, I FINALLY figured out how to get up to that bathroom counter top (plenty to do up there!), and I found a new plant to rip leaves off of. I managed to keep myself busy through my loneliness. When my people decided to return, they brought me some strange looking toy that they expected me to play with (it is quite enjoyable, although I will never let on) and demanded that I show them affection. Can you believe the audacity? As if they deserved it. I showed them though. One thing I know how to do best is pout and refuse attention.

They have to learn one way or another! I think they have been punished enough by now, so I will let them back into my good graces.

During my time alone I discovered some old family photos. I will have to save that for my next blog. Stay tuned!

I must leave you now with my final thought for the day:

Never sniff what you can't identify.

M. Wooley

Freedom is overrated.

2008-08-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

As I lay here gazing out the screen door at the big world beyond, I contemplate evicting my human roommates. Oh to have my freedom! No sharing the bathroom, no being locked out of the bedrooms away from the wonderful giant bed, no limits on where I can roam! I don't know how I got myself into this situation. I must have a soft spot for these humans. Where would they be without me, anyway?

Darn it, I want that spider crawling there outside.....sorry, I let myself become distracted for a moment.

What a lovely garden to play in! I would love to knock all the bright colored flowers from their stems. But, alas, the humans are crafty enough to keep the back door closed. I am still working on gaining my upper body strength ( think all that screen climbing is paying off), and when I am ready I will make my move. It's not always about strength anyway, it's agility, which they seem to be quite lacking. Oh, they have so much to learn. I will just have to be patient for now.

Besides, I suppose I would be quite bored if they were gone. No ear scratching, no faces to rub my behind in, no toes to bite. Yes, my days would be sadly empty. Not to mention the meals. I am not a "house cat". Forget fixing my own meals, I refuse! That is what hired help and humans are for. It is admittedly pleasant to receive my meals at my beck and call. Yes, that is a plus. Sigh. I guess I will keep them around. If only they knew how lucky they are to have a cat like me.

I will bid you farewell now.

A very unappreciated,

M. Wooley

Never eat tuna before bed.

2008-08-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

This is how my day began. Have you ever woken up in a strange place with no recollection of how you ended up there? I have. It's a bit disturbing. I do remember having strange dream after dream all night long. I vaguely remember something about a red cape, yes, I think it was Superman. The rest is a blur. I really must restrain myself from the extra helping of tuna right before bedtime.

I will keep this short today, as I have much planned. There's only so many hours in the day between eating, napping, and watching the Olympics.

Till next time,

M. Wooley

Slave to fashion.

2008-08-08T15:52:00.000-07:00

Well, as I surmised, I'm feeling quite improved today. I had a leisurely morning after the humans disappeared. After taking my early morning nap, I remembered my the incident yesterday and decided to make use of the wonderful blue cushy thing the humans sit on to sharpen my claws. It worked beautifully!

After chasing the cat in the glass china cabinet for a time, I became spent and decided to take my mid morning nap. It really can be so boring around here with no humans to attack. I decided to eat lunch, then took my early afternoon nap. After sniffing the perimeter and climbing the window screen, it was time for my mid-afternoon nap. This, by the way, was rudely interrupted when the she-human reappeared. So much for a peaceful afternoon. At least I can get my dinner now.

Time to sign off....I need to catch up on my Project Runway....yes, I said it.

Till tomorrow.......Auf Wiedersehen!

M. Wooley

My crappy day.

2008-08-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Today is the day I began my very first blog. Why, do you ask? Well, let me first tell you about the events of today.

From the moment I opened my eyes at the horrific thundering noise coming from the food room, I was in a foul mood. My back ached from being curled in a ball behind the noisy picture box for 9 hours. And now I was starting to get a headache, along with the irritating itching in my ears. If I have to scratch my ears one more time and see brown flecks flying in the air, I'm going to bite something, preferably fleshy. As I tiredly dragged myself out of my bed, all the while squinting at the annoying bright lights being turned on so early, I spotted my humans fumbling for their morning food and drink. This is the best time to rub ankles and lay on feet. They are still nice and warm from having been under blankets all night. I don't know why my humans must always speak loudly in the morning, seemingly in too much of a hurry. I especially wish they would watch where they step.

Once they had finished making so much noise and disappeared for the day, I decided to have a bite to eat, and make a visit to the sand box. As the warm sun came up I slept for a better part of the day, feeling sorry for myself and my itchy ears.

Everything was going fine until my female human re-appeared & decided she was going to wrap me up tightly in a blanket and force strange smelling liquid into my ears. I did my best to resist, but it did no good. (Note to self, work on upper body strength and claw sharpening in my spare time) She finally released me, after making what seemed like angry grunting sounds. I found a safe spot out of reach and furiously scratched my ears until they were sore. Why do humans seem to get pleasure out of torturing us? If someone has an answer to this, please feel free to enlighten me.

Anyway, once again feeling sorry for myself and more uncomfortable than ever, I had the brilliant idea to document my daily woes and adulations, if only for my own personal therapy. So, thus began my blog.

The day is winding to a close, and I am still rubbing my ears endlessly. What is this horrible substance? The more I scratch, the more it gets on my face and paws. Good grief, I look like a vagabond! I can't take this anymore. I'm going to take a roll in the sand box and find a nice lap to curl up on. Hopefully the substance will be gone tomorrow. Signing off till then,

M. Wooley