As I lay here gazing out the screen door at the big world beyond, I contemplate evicting my human roommates. Oh to have my freedom! No sharing the bathroom, no being locked out of the bedrooms away from the wonderful giant bed, no limits on where I can roam! I don't know how I got myself into this situation. I must have a soft spot for these humans. Where would they be without me, anyway?
Darn it, I want that spider crawling there outside.....sorry, I let myself become distracted for a moment.
What a lovely garden to play in! I would love to knock all the bright colored flowers from their stems. But, alas, the humans are crafty enough to keep the back door closed. I am still working on gaining my upper body strength ( think all that screen climbing is paying off), and when I am ready I will make my move. It's not always about strength anyway, it's agility, which they seem to be quite lacking. Oh, they have so much to learn. I will just have to be patient for now.
Besides, I suppose I would be quite bored if they were gone. No ear scratching, no faces to rub my behind in, no toes to bite. Yes, my days would be sadly empty. Not to mention the meals. I am not a "house cat". Forget fixing my own meals, I refuse! That is what hired help and humans are for. It is admittedly pleasant to receive my meals at my beck and call. Yes, that is a plus. Sigh. I guess I will keep them around. If only they knew how lucky they are to have a cat like me.
I will bid you farewell now.
A very unappreciated,